All praise to God the Father All praise to Christ the Son All praise to the Holy Spirit Our God has overcome The King who was and is and evermore will be In Jesus mighty name, I believe
~I Believe, by Phil Wickham
5 years of posts with the background of my Cancer journey can be found at CaringBridge.com
February 9, 2025 ~
Music is essential in my day. It floods my mind in times of stress and sits waiting in the background for times when the hustle and bustle of the day stops and my mind wants to focus on the struggles or difficulties I’ve just faced. Music is my buffer and I’ve found whatever music I listen to remains sort of buffering in the background, ready to restart the second my focus is off of something else. It is a blessing and a struggle sometimes. If I listen to music that contains lyrics while I’m trying to sleep, my brain tries to process and participate so I don’t get a restful slumber, but when the correct playlist is on, my brain calms and I sleep even better than if the room is silent. The same thing happens when I’m trying to work on paperwork, plan lessons, just think… the instrumental music in the background calms my ever-moving thoughts and I’m able to focus on the task at hand.
The same thing happens with conquering my physical ailments during the work week. I am able to focus on the tasks at-hand and honestly, the business and chaos of working in Special Education is exactly what the Lord knew I would need to keep my brain busy. When I’m at school and focused on my students, I do not notice the pain as much. I have a very high pain tolerance so when I DO start to feel it and it affects my day, it is a sign that I need to stop and pay attention. I really should pay attention sooner because once I start to notice it, it’s likely over a “7” and I start to be crabby and short-tempered more easily. I hate when pain takes over and I become a less-nice version of myself, but I’m also learning that means I need to take time for myself BEFORE I get to the 7, so I can be the best version of myself. I don’t like to let others know I’m in pain so that’s probably why I haven’t updated in a long time. I spend the weeks pushing through, but over the last two weekends, I’ve spent most of Friday night and Saturday sleeping, trying to convince my body that I’m “ok” and to get back to work. I spent a day at Mayo this past week and have a lot more to process regarding my pain and the lyrics of my new favorite song are essential and I’m blessed to hear them flood my thoughts every time I wake. I can hear them in the background as I type and they keep me focused on the task and the ONE who allows me another day to work to serve Him. Let me share this song with you as I update you on my latest “post-cancer” journey…
Looking all the way back to the summer of 2020, after receiving chemo (that tried to kill me, itself!) I ended up with extreme pain in my legs from the knees down. My cancer treatments affected my bone marrow and I was diagnosed with arthritis in my feet. Over the past 5 years my body has continued to do the opposite of what was expected and along with bone loss in my marrow, I’ve developed calcifications where the tendons and ligaments attach to the bones. I’ve been doctoring for Rheumatoid Arthritis with little success and the extra 70 lbs from being on steroids continues to linger. I’ve advocated for myself and over the past few months have been seeking the advice of the Orthopedic Surgeons at Mayo. Each body part has its own specialty so I’ve recently received advice from my new “team” regarding my hips, shoulders and soon I’ll see a specialist for my feet/ankles.
It turns out when you combine hip and shoulder issues you find out you were actually born with, along with Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Cancer treatment and just “being Kelly”, you hear things you didn’t quite expect at the age of 47. I have been told by two different specialists now, that in my lifetime I should expect to have replacements of both shoulders, both hips, at least my left knee and one maybe both ankles. Did I forget to mention that cancer protocols only last up to 5 years so the med I currently take to address blocking the female hormones and the cells that made up my cancer can not continue past this spring so I’m planning on a hysterectomy soon. Let’s not forget the lesion I have on my colon that is also going to be a possible surgery. For those of you that were playing “Kelly Bingo” you likely have 5-in-a row when you count up the number of things wrong with this gal and I haven’t even hit 50 yet!!!
The nice thing about all of the problems I have is the Orthopedic issues are not yet bone-on-bone, so if I can find ways to not feel the pain, it is my choice whether or not surgery is the answer. I’ve been hearing recommendations on diet change and exercise/PT but haven’t taken it as seriously as I should have…until now. I guess when you get to a point where just lifting your arms is so painful you don’t do it anymore, it’s time to make some changes! I’m still seeking wisdom from my Ortho team but if changing what I eat can prolong the need for surgery, and perhaps even eliminate it…I’m game!
I’ve had problems with hip impingement and my shoulders as far back as I can remember. I threw my back out for the first time when I was 14 and I can recall the extreme pain I felt in my shoulders while pumping my arms, running Cross-Country as a 6th grader. I guess I was destined to experience pain in older years but thanks to the team that is helping me through my post-cancer journey, I’m making the connections that are helping me as a whole-body approach. My post-cancer Fatty Liver Disease limits the amount of pain meds I can take. Blood thinners I require for my blood-clotting disorder also make finding proper medications difficult. Luckily, the job I have allows flexibility in how I deliver my instruction. I can sit, I can stand, I can change the pace at my desire and I have an amazing district that supports me (even though I don’t tell them about the pain I’m in). God knew all along that this is exactly what I would need to take my mind off of things and still allow me to do a job I LOVE. I love the KIDS and I absolutely love what I get to do, and some of you know we moved, but for those that don’t, I also LOVE living only .8 miles (as the crow flies) away from work, over in Gilman, WI! After looking at several places in town that did not work out, we were blessed to find a cute little home on an acre, surrounded by farms and with a view of the HS Baseball fields from my back steps! I literally get to work and back home in less than 10 minutes each way and no longer have to drive the back roads without cell service!
If I were to make a list of the hard times and the great things I’ve experiences over the past 6 months I’m sure it would look like there was a lot of things that should get me down but that’s when the music starts in the back of my brain and as it moves to the forefront, brings peace and gratefulness for the good things on the list. I’ve been so blessed to be able to focus on the positives, even when extreme pain tries to overpower my thoughts or I must stop everything and go to bed to get the rest my body needs to recover. As the music starts to calm me I can’t help but think…
All praise to God the Father All praise to Christ the Son All praise to the Holy Spirit Our God has overcome The King who was and is and evermore will be In Jesus mighty name, I believe
~Kelly
truebluewife 